Description: in class we are writing persuasive pieces. We have been writing about El Rancho. I agree that it is a safe and happy place.
Come along to camp El Rancho. It is a nice and peaceful place to be! You should come because it's a safe environment to be in. It also has lots of space to play.
When you go to sleep in your Cabin, it's nice and cozy. The bunk beds already have a mattress for you. There are some cabins with toilets and showers too.
There are lots of activities to do there. There are some in the water and on land too. In the water there was kayaking, water slide, slip n slide, pool, and rafts. On land there are low ropes, archery, guns and more.
Schools and families can go to El Rancho as well. They give you food for you to eat and the food is delicious. They would give you four meals a day.
With all this good news I would recommend going to El Rancho. The cabins are safe and cozy and fun activities. Clearly El Rancho is a safe place.
Evaluation: I worked really hard on my writing.
Feedback:very good work James lots of reasons to agree
Feedforward:next time I think that you should add a little bit more into the paragraph.